Saturday, December 19, 2009

new awkward blog

so i made a separate bog where i can post the shit that i write. i was planning on making one all along except i wound up going through a long period of time where i just didnt write anything at all. just recently ive started writing again, mostly due to my extra alone time. they kind of suck since im a little rusty, but hopefully i will get better?


so theres the link. you can look at it if u want.

Monday, December 14, 2009

my college experience

id like to address something thats been bothering me for a while...

since ive entered college (and please tell me if uve had a different experience) that everyone seems to have put up a front or some kind of barrier blocking us from seeing their true selves. everyone seems so guarded yet desperate for a close friendship. i dont understand why this is... are u afraid to admit you are suicidal? are u afraid everyone will call you emo bc thats society's new group to shit on? are u afraid to admit that youre insecure and that u need people to stand beside you to hold you up or else ull drown in ur own self doubt? and once people admit these things instead of feeling close and intimate it feels awkward and too premeditated. people wind up knowing each other really well without that feeling of togetherness and security. everyone is afraid to say what they really think and others are so desperate they blurt out their problems too soon. what is too soon? why do we worry about these things? i feel that in college we need close friendships more than ever yet they are so difficult to gain. not only that but no one really seems to want to put forth the effort and would rather run to their old friends for support. or maybe this is just me? i mean, i have issues. people know i have issues. i hide the full extent of my issues, but i have no problem admitting to their surfaces. and whats with the bitter people who act so tough? i know ur crying behind all that. trying to hide the fact that ur just a pussy on the inside; afraid people wont except you for that. and those other people who like to bring others down to make urself look intimidating and intelligent; i know u dont even mean half the things you preach and that ur so arrogant because behind that wall you dont believe in yourself. im tired of it. its true acting like ur confident grants you confidence eventually, but does it really? on the inside do u still question urself? 

why did the world make u so bitter? are you broken? afraid to admit that youre broken? 

id really like to know. 

Sunday, December 13, 2009

water color shiz

so i finally have shit to show u guys. im sorry if its not that much. ive been super busy with comics and essay shit. id show u my comics but in all honesty theyre so incredibly awful you would cry if u laid eyes on them.

dis one is for chrissehboo<333 actually it wasnt made for him, he just happened to see it and wanted it so im giving it t him. i really dislike this one. idk why he even wants it. either hes lying to me or hes just out of his damn mind. JK I LUV U!

my teacher hates this one. but i really like it. she says i used to many bright colors at the bottom but w/e. fuck her.

this one is emo. yay. it is also my fav. bc i am emo. :O

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

new mask!

so today during our 3 hour break from classes me n some of my college friends went to this little mud coffee shop by union square. in the process we found this adorable vintage toy store and i bought this mask there for $5. :D i usually paint my masks but idk i kind of like this one plain. but at the same time i see many possibilities. 

......aaand this is a painting i did for freshman year painting class.....

and these are the other masks i painted. the green one is my fav. i wore it on holloween w/a cocktail hat.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

the Darkness

school has been absolutely insane. but dont worry ive been working on the comic in the very little spare time that i DO have...

this is the Darkness. the main villain in On the Other Side... the Darkness is an evil force that feeds on your fear, your loneliness, emptiness, anger etc. It is the little voice in your head that tells you life is meaningless. It eats away at the human soul sucking away the joy from life. the Darkness has latched onto Yewie's soul slowly dragging him into a deep sorrow. 

so im sorry if this picture sucks. im actually exhausted so it didnt come out as i saw it in my head. oh well. 

Monday, October 5, 2009

Where I stand on ZADR

For those of you who don't know what ZADR is, it basically stands for Zim and Dib Romance. Zim and Dib being characters from the cartoon show Invader Zim.

NOW, while i heavily support this couple and they remain proudly at the top of my all time favorite OTP (one true pairing) list, i do draw lines at places. first and foremost let me just say i am a strong believer in keeping things canon, i do enjoy crack!pairings at times however even then i need them to act as realistically as possible. i absolutely detest OOC. Now back to the zadr (forgive me if this entry jumps around a bit, it IS 5 in the morning after all); as i said before i support zim and dib as a "couple" however i do not believe they are in love or ever will be. i DO however believe they need each other more than they need air. you see... zim and dib ROMANCE doesn't exist. there is no courtship no cute kisses and blah. zim and dib may even fool themselves into thinking they are in love at one point, but even then it will only be because they dont know what else to call it. would they have sex? yes. it does make sense for dib to be attracted to zim, all i can say is its too bad zim cannot reciprocate those feelings. zim may just let dib "have his way with him" because he "loves" him and also because he feels its one step up to controlling him- the only kind of rush zim is capable of feeling. a lot of people may challenge this theory and accuse me of just liking the "hot alien sex"; well (even tho i do LOL) if you read any real canon zim and dib sex story its not stimulating at all. if anything its extremely depressing, pathetic and makes you want to vomit. which is why i love it. yes im weird shut up. 

ok i need to sleep or else i die. xP

Saturday, October 3, 2009


omg.. so im actually doing it for once. im not just sitting on my ass. so i finally made an official name for the comic. its "On The Other Side" as you can see.  aaandd.....

im trying to remember if there is anything else... oh yeah!!! im going to stop spoiling so much on here and the comic will be updated over here
this is so exciting!!! xD

Sunday, September 27, 2009

my hw kills

So this is what i've been doing. Lots and lots and lots of comics. @__@ im fer reals going crazy... i'm sorry to everyone who i promised to chill with/talk to on teh phone. it might be a while...

anyway, i went to confession the other day for the first time in a loong time and when i came out it basically went like this: Me: so mom what's your penance? Mom: oh i had to say an Our Father. sister: yeah that was my penance too. why what was yours elise? Me: ...he said as my penance i have to reflect on what the Holy Spirit has shown to be rejuvenating to my soul. Everyone: ....

yay im weird. 

Monday, September 7, 2009

school is tomo

Okay so the new banner is up. yaayy!! i was trying to decide b/w simple and fancy and so i decided to go with the fancy. anywho so in the sky pirates comic of i was thinking of the first world the would visit and i decided on the girl who lives in the glass castle. i wanted it to be indian-esque so the glass castle will be modeled after the taj mahal. i havent gotten to the exact design yet but heres what its supposed to look like.

here's some character design and some monologue from yewie. i dont have a name for her yet, i have to look into idian names and do some research. if anyone has any suggestions please let me know! lol also u can see me copying the movie The Fall. that movie is pretty inspirational. i think im going to make her clothes white and gold. but idk yet. we'll see.

lol heres a one page comic idea im working on. what im afraid of the most. these are some rough drafts.

and yay! kelsey's birthday! (that i misses. sorry!!! :CC) but anyways heres her present. its pretty crappy and i apologize to her for that. its supposed to be us fighting azn style. 8D

and now i have abajillion essays to write so bye bye.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

metaphors and tricky knots

Just a little snippet of an idea i thought i'd share. i wouldn't call this an official page but its an idea id like to use. im a huge fan of analogies. i think theyre just great *dreamy sigh* C:> but anyways this was the sort of direction i was going in with this comic with emphasis on the sort of student/mentor relationship b/w Yewie and Marmalade. basically whats supposed to happen is captain marmalade whisks little yewie away from his suckish life in the orphanage and brings him along on this magical journey where they travel to lands that serve as metaphors for all of Yewie's internal issues- such as his issue of identity, trust, his fears of vulnerability etc. Basically Marmalade is his guardian angel sent from God, his mission to bring hope into Yewie's life. llol dont worry i wont spoil. but theres the synopsis. 

Saturday, September 5, 2009


I'm updating again today bc it just so happens i made something im really excited about, mostly bc i never get to do these kinds of things due to lack of materials, but none the less something its something ive always wanted to do.

yay collage!!

Sky Pirates Comic Concept Sketches

So here are some concept sketches for my new comic. This is Yewie the main character and Jeffery the first mate octopus. Captain Marmalade's ship is called Alice in reference to her curious nature.

And these are some concept sketches for the orphanage Yewie lives at. The orphanage is overflowing with children so some are forced to sleep on the fire escapes. Here u can see Yewie and Pokey (the one with the nightcap) and Kyle (the one with the cat).

These are sketches for the inside of Marmalade's ship.

Smaller airship design.

Rough sketch of one of the pages.

The first page so far. Don't judge its not done yet!! lol.

So yep. thats it for now.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

watercolor love

so i've decided to start updating this sight regularly mostly due to my friend erin's inspirational DA journal xD as she reminded me that i actually had a blog i should probably be updating. but it gets so lonely around here. no more however bc erin has a blog! yay! friends! 8D LOL.

so lately ive gotten hugely into watercolor. dont get me wrong, ive always loved it, but now it seems to have replaced markers as my daily medium. 
if this blog will let me put a picture up (-__-) this is Captain Marmalade and his female first mate Jeffery the Octopus, some of the main characters from a new comic im making abt sky pirates (which ws inspired by a single stop-motion animation done for drawing class here. this comic will be a bit more serious, philosophical, emotional, you know all those tasty dark things. alas do not worry there will be humor!! 

oh yes. and this is my me and my bf. (yes.. i have a bf now. SHOCKING.)

Thursday, March 12, 2009


i highly doubt anyone even looks a this place. i know i pretty much forgot about this place altogether till today i got bored and decided to google search my deviantart name to see how popular i was. lol. apparently i mentioned it here. lol so im going to mention it again xD just because i love to advertise myself. ---->

umm.. my style has undergone some changes. mostly due to my sudden change in attitude and over all disposition. i think. ive also become severely depressed and i think its safe to mention that here since i dont think anyone even looks at my page. so yeah anyways im sorry if you guys were expecting to see some slashy cartoonie fanart goodness but i just dont think thats happening anymore. it kind of sucks that ur popularity as an online artist goes down quite a bit once you move from being a "fan-artist" to an actual "artist". but its okay. its something im willing to sacrifice to meet my own emotional needs. quite frankly i care more about if im satisfied with something more than if other people are satisfied. also, im too depressed to bother keeping you guys amused with cartoonie humor so im probably going to have to change the name of this sight since well.. it seems to happy to accurately describe my current work. if you can call it work. its more like slapping a label on some bullshit. right now i dont think ive ever been so unsatisfied with my work. idk if 18 is a little to early to be having an identity crisis but... yeah i think thats the major problem. my work has no substance because I have no substance. end of story.