Saturday, December 19, 2009

new awkward blog

so i made a separate bog where i can post the shit that i write. i was planning on making one all along except i wound up going through a long period of time where i just didnt write anything at all. just recently ive started writing again, mostly due to my extra alone time. they kind of suck since im a little rusty, but hopefully i will get better?


so theres the link. you can look at it if u want.

Monday, December 14, 2009

my college experience

id like to address something thats been bothering me for a while...

since ive entered college (and please tell me if uve had a different experience) that everyone seems to have put up a front or some kind of barrier blocking us from seeing their true selves. everyone seems so guarded yet desperate for a close friendship. i dont understand why this is... are u afraid to admit you are suicidal? are u afraid everyone will call you emo bc thats society's new group to shit on? are u afraid to admit that youre insecure and that u need people to stand beside you to hold you up or else ull drown in ur own self doubt? and once people admit these things instead of feeling close and intimate it feels awkward and too premeditated. people wind up knowing each other really well without that feeling of togetherness and security. everyone is afraid to say what they really think and others are so desperate they blurt out their problems too soon. what is too soon? why do we worry about these things? i feel that in college we need close friendships more than ever yet they are so difficult to gain. not only that but no one really seems to want to put forth the effort and would rather run to their old friends for support. or maybe this is just me? i mean, i have issues. people know i have issues. i hide the full extent of my issues, but i have no problem admitting to their surfaces. and whats with the bitter people who act so tough? i know ur crying behind all that. trying to hide the fact that ur just a pussy on the inside; afraid people wont except you for that. and those other people who like to bring others down to make urself look intimidating and intelligent; i know u dont even mean half the things you preach and that ur so arrogant because behind that wall you dont believe in yourself. im tired of it. its true acting like ur confident grants you confidence eventually, but does it really? on the inside do u still question urself? 

why did the world make u so bitter? are you broken? afraid to admit that youre broken? 

id really like to know. 

Sunday, December 13, 2009

water color shiz

so i finally have shit to show u guys. im sorry if its not that much. ive been super busy with comics and essay shit. id show u my comics but in all honesty theyre so incredibly awful you would cry if u laid eyes on them.

dis one is for chrissehboo<333 actually it wasnt made for him, he just happened to see it and wanted it so im giving it t him. i really dislike this one. idk why he even wants it. either hes lying to me or hes just out of his damn mind. JK I LUV U!

my teacher hates this one. but i really like it. she says i used to many bright colors at the bottom but w/e. fuck her.

this one is emo. yay. it is also my fav. bc i am emo. :O