LOL i found this going through my old email

this is an explanation i wrote for a story that i sent in for a writing contest back in high school. i was inspired by invader zim (and by inspired i mean stole LOL jkjk) and based my chars around zim and dib. i however left the chars nameless. maan i cant write or analyze for shit anymore. and this wasnt even "good" writing this was like average and i still cant even reach this level. FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.......


I wanted to choose something out of the ordinary, something that would force people to go back and read the whole story over again, because God knows you couldn’t swallow all of it the first time. When it comes to writing short stories, I find that the story is most effective if the characters are highly developed. My interest in writing also sparked form observing the way people’s relationships are woven together and the way personalities bounce off one another. My main goal is to weasel my way into a characters psyche and somehow develop from that a situation that would reveal them for what they truly are. All my stories focus on two characters at most experiencing some kind of epiphany, but in this story, I find, the characters have the most unusual gut wrenching relationship of all. They are enemies, one is alien and one is human. Both are unbelievably loyal to their races and both are abandoned; one for unknown reasons and the other was alone from the very beginning. Both being too afraid of feeling vulnerable to admit they have nothing left to live for, they block out the rest of the world, fighting with each other as if it were some kind heroic movie or drug they use to escape their horrible reality. Year after year of doing the same thing, they come to find their hatred for each other no longer exists and the only reason they haven’t yet committed suicide is because of the other. Without the hatred that had carved their rivalry in stone, they no longer know where they stand in regards to the other. They are not friends because they cannot stand each other, they do not love because they are too proud, and they no longer hate because they need each other. Their relationship is a self gratuitous one; they feed off the other’s obsession, taking only what satisfies them, until the very end when they discover that what they have done was pointless, and a tacit understanding settles in between them. At times it may be difficult to discern between the two since no names are given, however that was done intentionally to show how alike they really are, that “they are the same” person and undeniably soul-mates.

ok no more griping. (promise).

so ive been making these lately...

so im sick at home for this spring break. major suckage. ive been making these weird people things out of clay.









for monica.


lol for chris.

IM NEVER GOING TO BE ORIGINAL T__T

i made this jellyfish costume for holloween freshman year of college


AND LOOK WHAT I FIND TODAY -__-



i want to make this dress :C BUT SOMEONE ELSE PROBABLY MADE IT ALREADY xC




AND THIS IS MY FUTURE WEDDING DRESS LOL

crappyy coomiic

a rlly shitty comic i did for story telling. idk if u can read it bc the pics i took are rlly awful and blurry and im way to lazy to put the effort into taking better ones.




UGH i hate these two pages ^^^ *BARF*

new awkward blog

so i made a separate bog where i can post the shit that i write. i was planning on making one all along except i wound up going through a long period of time where i just didnt write anything at all. just recently ive started writing again, mostly due to my extra alone time. they kind of suck since im a little rusty, but hopefully i will get better?

robot-tentacles

so theres the link. you can look at it if u want.

my college experience

id like to address something thats been bothering me for a while...

since ive entered college (and please tell me if uve had a different experience) that everyone seems to have put up a front or some kind of barrier blocking us from seeing their true selves. everyone seems so guarded yet desperate for a close friendship. i dont understand why this is... are u afraid to admit you are suicidal? are u afraid everyone will call you emo bc thats society's new group to shit on? are u afraid to admit that youre insecure and that u need people to stand beside you to hold you up or else ull drown in ur own self doubt? and once people admit these things instead of feeling close and intimate it feels awkward and too premeditated. people wind up knowing each other really well without that feeling of togetherness and security. everyone is afraid to say what they really think and others are so desperate they blurt out their problems too soon. what is too soon? why do we worry about these things? i feel that in college we need close friendships more than ever yet they are so difficult to gain. not only that but no one really seems to want to put forth the effort and would rather run to their old friends for support. or maybe this is just me? i mean, i have issues. people know i have issues. i hide the full extent of my issues, but i have no problem admitting to their surfaces. and whats with the bitter people who act so tough? i know ur crying behind all that. trying to hide the fact that ur just a pussy on the inside; afraid people wont except you for that. and those other people who like to bring others down to make urself look intimidating and intelligent; i know u dont even mean half the things you preach and that ur so arrogant because behind that wall you dont believe in yourself. im tired of it. its true acting like ur confident grants you confidence eventually, but does it really? on the inside do u still question urself? 

why did the world make u so bitter? are you broken? afraid to admit that youre broken? 

id really like to know. 

water color shiz

so i finally have shit to show u guys. im sorry if its not that much. ive been super busy with comics and essay shit. id show u my comics but in all honesty theyre so incredibly awful you would cry if u laid eyes on them.

dis one is for chrissehboo<333 actually it wasnt made for him, he just happened to see it and wanted it so im giving it t him. i really dislike this one. idk why he even wants it. either hes lying to me or hes just out of his damn mind. JK I LUV U!

my teacher hates this one. but i really like it. she says i used to many bright colors at the bottom but w/e. fuck her.

this one is emo. yay. it is also my fav. bc i am emo. :O