new awkward blog

so i made a separate bog where i can post the shit that i write. i was planning on making one all along except i wound up going through a long period of time where i just didnt write anything at all. just recently ive started writing again, mostly due to my extra alone time. they kind of suck since im a little rusty, but hopefully i will get better?

robot-tentacles

so theres the link. you can look at it if u want.

my college experience

id like to address something thats been bothering me for a while...

since ive entered college (and please tell me if uve had a different experience) that everyone seems to have put up a front or some kind of barrier blocking us from seeing their true selves. everyone seems so guarded yet desperate for a close friendship. i dont understand why this is... are u afraid to admit you are suicidal? are u afraid everyone will call you emo bc thats society's new group to shit on? are u afraid to admit that youre insecure and that u need people to stand beside you to hold you up or else ull drown in ur own self doubt? and once people admit these things instead of feeling close and intimate it feels awkward and too premeditated. people wind up knowing each other really well without that feeling of togetherness and security. everyone is afraid to say what they really think and others are so desperate they blurt out their problems too soon. what is too soon? why do we worry about these things? i feel that in college we need close friendships more than ever yet they are so difficult to gain. not only that but no one really seems to want to put forth the effort and would rather run to their old friends for support. or maybe this is just me? i mean, i have issues. people know i have issues. i hide the full extent of my issues, but i have no problem admitting to their surfaces. and whats with the bitter people who act so tough? i know ur crying behind all that. trying to hide the fact that ur just a pussy on the inside; afraid people wont except you for that. and those other people who like to bring others down to make urself look intimidating and intelligent; i know u dont even mean half the things you preach and that ur so arrogant because behind that wall you dont believe in yourself. im tired of it. its true acting like ur confident grants you confidence eventually, but does it really? on the inside do u still question urself? 

why did the world make u so bitter? are you broken? afraid to admit that youre broken? 

id really like to know. 

water color shiz

so i finally have shit to show u guys. im sorry if its not that much. ive been super busy with comics and essay shit. id show u my comics but in all honesty theyre so incredibly awful you would cry if u laid eyes on them.

dis one is for chrissehboo<333 actually it wasnt made for him, he just happened to see it and wanted it so im giving it t him. i really dislike this one. idk why he even wants it. either hes lying to me or hes just out of his damn mind. JK I LUV U!

my teacher hates this one. but i really like it. she says i used to many bright colors at the bottom but w/e. fuck her.

this one is emo. yay. it is also my fav. bc i am emo. :O

new mask!

so today during our 3 hour break from classes me n some of my college friends went to this little mud coffee shop by union square. in the process we found this adorable vintage toy store and i bought this mask there for $5. :D i usually paint my masks but idk i kind of like this one plain. but at the same time i see many possibilities. 

......aaand this is a painting i did for freshman year painting class.....

and these are the other masks i painted. the green one is my fav. i wore it on holloween w/a cocktail hat.

the Darkness

school has been absolutely insane. but dont worry ive been working on the comic in the very little spare time that i DO have...

this is the Darkness. the main villain in On the Other Side... the Darkness is an evil force that feeds on your fear, your loneliness, emptiness, anger etc. It is the little voice in your head that tells you life is meaningless. It eats away at the human soul sucking away the joy from life. the Darkness has latched onto Yewie's soul slowly dragging him into a deep sorrow. 

so im sorry if this picture sucks. im actually exhausted so it didnt come out as i saw it in my head. oh well. 

Where I stand on ZADR

For those of you who don't know what ZADR is, it basically stands for Zim and Dib Romance. Zim and Dib being characters from the cartoon show Invader Zim.

NOW, while i heavily support this couple and they remain proudly at the top of my all time favorite OTP (one true pairing) list, i do draw lines at places. first and foremost let me just say i am a strong believer in keeping things canon, i do enjoy crack!pairings at times however even then i need them to act as realistically as possible. i absolutely detest OOC. Now back to the zadr (forgive me if this entry jumps around a bit, it IS 5 in the morning after all); as i said before i support zim and dib as a "couple" however i do not believe they are in love or ever will be. i DO however believe they need each other more than they need air. you see... zim and dib ROMANCE doesn't exist. there is no courtship no cute kisses and blah. zim and dib may even fool themselves into thinking they are in love at one point, but even then it will only be because they dont know what else to call it. would they have sex? yes. it does make sense for dib to be attracted to zim, all i can say is its too bad zim cannot reciprocate those feelings. zim may just let dib "have his way with him" because he "loves" him and also because he feels its one step up to controlling him- the only kind of rush zim is capable of feeling. a lot of people may challenge this theory and accuse me of just liking the "hot alien sex"; well (even tho i do LOL) if you read any real canon zim and dib sex story its not stimulating at all. if anything its extremely depressing, pathetic and makes you want to vomit. which is why i love it. yes im weird shut up. 

ok i need to sleep or else i die. xP

COMIC UNDERWAY!!! :D

omg.. so im actually doing it for once. im not just sitting on my ass. so i finally made an official name for the comic. its "On The Other Side" as you can see.  aaandd.....

....i also finished the second page!!!!!! 8D omg took forever but who cares it looks awesome; a lot better than i thought it would. i still have to color it and add dialogue but other than that its pretty much done.

im trying to remember if there is anything else... oh yeah!!! im going to stop spoiling so much on here and the comic will be updated over here http://ontheotherside.smackjeeves.com/

this is so exciting!!! xD